Battersea Ironsides B against Sopwith Camels, Sunday May 17th, 2009
Battersea Ironsides Sunday A versus Fawe Park CC, Sunday 14th June
Hi, sorry about gestern. After the game on Sunday I stiffened up overnight, but I think the real problem is being overweight and putting too much pressure on the knee and ankle joints. Sunday was an amazing day, playing Fawe Park CC, a club at least 3 notches above us. They batted first and made 202 off 40 overs. Then we batted and made just 85. Five of the guys made ducks and I made just 4, a late cut boundary, typical openers shot, but stuck around for 5 or so overs with my partner, a Pakistani batsman called Walleed who made just 8. Eventually one popped up on me and bounced up off the splice then a good catch by one of their fielders. Then the captain Neil O'Brien made8, superbly caught as I was, but this time by the slip. An Australian batsman came in and made 43, he looked an aggressive hitter. The other opener made a duck (0) and 4 of the other guys, not showing enough determination to stick around even for a while. Training makes a lot of difference.
There were no sightscreens and the pitch caused the ball to alternately pop or creep. Hard to know what it all meant except that it was very sunny and there were lots of half-naked girls in the long grass.
Yes the pitches are drying out and getting bouncier so time for the helmet and the arm guard. Found running in the helmet tough, but not as tough as I thought and it is definitely restrictive. But I don't look upon batting as gladiatorial combat so I think its best to have it when playing for Sunday A or the Firsts and Seconds and maybe the Thirds. Made a small stand of 20 or so with Walleed which is the usual and stuck around for 5 overs or so but want to learn how to go on from this and the only way is probably through practice.
So I hope this feedback is useful. I always like to write reflection on the games, not necessary for you to comment, bw, Paul
Twenty20 Match Battersea Ironsides versus The Bricklayers Arms, Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
Hi, another great match, this time a Twenty20 game against The Bricklayers Arms. This time I was put on as first change bowler, basic cannon fodder but reversed the scenario by bowling the opening batsman with an off break through the gate, a ripper and could have had 4 or 5 more wickets, if catches had been held and a plumb lbw upheld. So in the final analysis: 4 overs, 0 maidens, 1 wicket for 39 runs. They made 103 and we got them with 5 overs to spare. yeah bring 'em on! bw, Paul
Ps I'm just gobsmacked my pitiful off beam bowling wasn't tonked for 90 or so, but there you go!
Battersea Ironsides 3rd XI vs Old Hamptonians, Hampton, May 31st 2009
TOAD IS CAPTURED AND GANGBANGED BY THE WEASELS
Dear Steve, a blistering day yesterday and this time I had a game with the 3rd XI, a friendly against Old Hamptonians at Hampton. We drove to a beautiful pitch, like a great green meadow, a church spire in the background, oak trees and brilliant sunshine.
So our opening bowlers began but nothing much happened until the first change in the bowling and a big South African called Paul Todd took 6 wickets in no time, but they clung on to get 179, a good total on this wicket. Then our response began steadily until one of the openers, an Australian, chipped the ball into his own face and retired hurt for 31 (bet he'll wear a helmet next time.). Then there was a clatter of wickets, a couple of guys got ducks, but the South African again got in and hit a fifty in even time. They'd put me down at number 8 to bat, but I went in when the fifth wicket fell because of the injury and the score was on 140 for 5 with about 15 overs in hand. (I knew that I'd get plenty of batting, even though I went in at 8, because I reckoned that 3 or 4 of the batsman were playing too far up the order and I also knew I could bat well and better than they. In fact they could have saved themselves some hassle by promoting me to open or to number 3 which seems to be my natural position in the batting order.) Anyway I chipped and nudged the ball around for singles, Paul Todd hit some fours, but when we got to 162 I was run out for 4 going for an implausible run off a mis-field as a result of Todd's call which left me well stranded. They say never run on a mis-field and it's true. So then the captain went in and hit his second ball for 4 and the innings was over and we had won. A run chase like this seemed implausible but we got them with 5 overs to spare.
Well the whole thing was played competitively, aggressively and probably too much so for a friendly, but there you go. Winning the game is definitely better than losing and puts individual failures into perspective.
Battersea Ironsides Sunday B team against Sopwith Camels, Sunday May 17th, 2009
TOAD STEALS AN AEROPLANE
Hi Eric, yes another fascinating game of cricket. Basically the story went this way: they had us at 24-4 so I went in and did my Geoffrey Boycott impression. When I left the wicket it was 54-4, so we had a chance. Eventually we amassed 140 but they chipped them off for the loss of 2. best wishes, PM
Ps there was a Scotsman batting number 11. I hope this doesn't happen again. We can't encourage them.
Battersea Ironsides Sunday B team against Wind in the Willows, Sunday May 10th, 2009
TOAD'S INVITIATION
just played Wind in the Willows CC. Opened the innings, got off to a great start with the ball snorting off a length sometimes and sometimes shooting, when the captain ran me out. I made 6. We made 102 and then they got the runs in 20 overs, just time enough for a 15 over a side contest with batting and bowling orders inverted. So I opened the bowling. Bowling a load of rubbish and then produced a snorter of a ball that went through everything and had the batsman plumb lbw. Cricket is a funny game. Then I scored 1 not out second time around. But we lost again even though I knocked Ron Badger's block off with a bouncer. Believe me, that's the last time I'll let those fictional characters try to invent a cricket match in my dream.
Hola Guapo! Last night up in Mill Hill Village for net practice, not as well organised as in BICC. Some guys turned up not dressed for cricket but turned out to be decent sorts enlisting their 12 yr old son for action at the club. Some young 'cricketers' turned up for a hit, one went into the nets without a box (???), within a minute there was a sudden piercing scream, for he had taken a direct hit on the nuts. But a young Australian leg spinner arrived who seemed talented and organised, then Liam Maloney arrived, club secretary who seemed to have a genius for being humble, constructive and giving advice both simple and profound. Anyway they gave me a game on their 4th XI on Saturday as a reward for seeming to know what a box was and being able to protect my nuts (which may still, indeed, come in handy. you never know what might happen: a beautiful woman might fall in love with me and agree to have my baby? or maybe just that I simply don't want to live in constant pain in my nuts region!) best wishes, Paul
Hi, today out at Perivale for a match with Mill Hill CC 4th XI. I soon found out that I was brought as a spare and was to bat at number 8. Not giving a newcomer a chance to either bat or bowl and yet expecting that person to pay a full match fee? However, the team quickly showed that they couldn't bat and I was soon in the action coming to the wicket at 60 for 6. At the other end the Aussie leg spinner Chris O'Shaughnessey had 34 but soon holed out to an awesome ball from their Pakistani leg spinner, a tall chap who spun and bounced the ball prodigiously. He took 8 wickets, the other 2 were run outs. So I quickly got on top of the medium pacer hitting him for two 4s and then took the quick single. Facing the leg spinner I made a classical forward defensive but the ball spun and bounced massively taking an edge. Getting an edge on that ball totally demonstrates that I am a batsman of genius. I was caught for 10. In all we made 95 in 25 overs. They knocked these off for the loss of one wicket (run out). I fielded at gully saving 20 or so runs in the process and bowled the last over. The keeper missed a straightforward stumping and then the batsman hit the next ball from me straight at mid-wicket who helped the ball over the boundary for 4.
When Chris came to bowl his bowling was simply dismantled completely and he gave them back the 34 he made in only 2 overs.
The conclusion? Not giving me a chance was a mistake they'll live to regret.
best wishes,
Paul
Hi Des, another victory in the T20.
Fleet Street Strollers vs Battersea Ironsides, 24th June, 2009
I was wheeled onto the square for some 'old timer' googly bowling. My bowling analysis: 4 overs 0 maidens 5 wickets 36 runs. Biff! Pow! 2 men bowled, one stumping, one caught and one hit wicket. Gareth also got runs and everyone contributed down the line. They made 96 but didn't bat out their 20 overs. Then we got them for the loss of 2 wickets in 17 overs. best wishes, Paul
Mill Hill Village 4th XI versus GWR XI, Perivale
Hi Liam, today a great victory, making 193 this time with Nadeem a centurion, but the rest of the batters making the wicket look hard work. Then we got them for 103, 4 bowlers chipping in with 2 or 3 each including moi: my off spin bowling harvesting 3 overs 2 for 14 and a good catch too off Ravi, who got 3 wickets but also made 2 with the bat (me too). So all in all everyone contributing to a substantial victory.
best wishes,
Paul
CIYMS vs Portadown in Mid Ulster Bandit Country, circa 1995
I remember once playing a game of cricket in mid-Ulster. We arrived in cars and someone remarked: 'I don't think people here are very loyal.' There was a mural depicting Karl Marx, Nelson Mandela, Gerry Adams, another of Bobby Sands, yet another depicting an IRA guerilla in full combat gear, brandishing a kalashnikov assault rifle with the caption: Tiocfaidh ár lá (our day will come). Sometime around 1972 someone detonated a bomb in the village pub, killing everyone who could pay to be there. Afterwards relationships between catholics and protestants in the village were strained, to say the least. God, I thought to myself, am I not some kind of fascist turning up here with a cricket bat and white clothing to impinge upon these people who probably want to be left alone, who probably don't need to be reminded of the Plantation of Ulster, the triumph of King Billy in 1690, defeating James at the Battle of the Boyne, the Act of Union and every other aggressive Imperialist British action historically retrograde or whatever. I thought, how can we even get out of here (if things turned nasty, as they invariably did in Ulster.). Okay I can quote Lenin, Che and Marx, pretend to be an Australian touring side: I'm the captain Paul Murphy, these are the Melbourne Desperadoes or something and I'm their captain Paul O'Murphy (because that sounds even more Irish).
So I went into the wee shop to ask directions, addressing the shopkeeper:
"The philosophers have only interpreted the world, the point is to change it. That's Marx, Karl Marx. You know what Lenin said: the Kulak has one hand in his own pocket and one in the pocket of his serf. Can I have a packet of Protestants? Shit, sorry I meant a packet of milk and six bags of crisps and a large bottle of coke."
The only other time I'd been in a situation like this was in County Antrim at the John Hewitt Summer School. I met this seeming nutter in bar and got into a heated debate with him about the poetry of Louis MacNeice. This chap looked as if he'd got over the wall of the local booby hatch the night before and was in vital need of a dose of largactyl.
"By the way, can I just ask your name?"
"Who, me? I'm Tom Paulin. Perhaps you know me as Kirsty Wark's concubine?"
Hi, just back from Harrow where we, Mill Hill Village 4th XI played Harrow and were beaten, but narrowly. We made 120 all out from 40 overs and they made 121 for 7 in 30. Basically the team consists of 3 fathers and 4 or 5 sons and some other pathetic also rans such as moi there simply to make up the numbers, bat in the lower order, do no bowling and then tender a cheque at the end of the game. You also get to be insulted, 'your batting is ugly, that's why you bat at No.9' - 'no my batting is beautiful, your an ugly kinda liar'. Of course the whole thing is an insult to the intelligence of a house fly but there you go. The contact came via Gumtree which is basically a mugger's paradise and ought to be shut down.
best wishes,
Your correspondent in Sils Maria, Switzerland
Fifth Test, Ashes 2009 The England selectors have chosen Trott (too hot to..) but the money is safe IF the Aussies win....
Out of Africa (2005, Directed by Sydney Pollack. With Meryl Streep, Robert Redford, Klaus Maria Brandauer. In 20th century colonial Kenya, a Danish baroness/plantation owner has ...
Subject: Cafe, Frederichstraße
Hi, sitting at a cafe tonight, mulling over some chilli and a coke. A man came up to me, addressed me in German, then some women came over, talking at me while I couldn´t understand. Seemed they wanted me to move to a smaller table so that their group could be together. Anyway, I thought this man was familiar, it turned out to be Klaus Maria Brandauer, the Austrian actor, who is putting on a production of Die DreiGroßenOper at the Berliner Ensemble somewhere nr Frederichstraße, the main theatre boulevard in Berlin. Here am I, an itinerant observer, a real symbol/victim of our celebrity culture, being moved aside or trampled on to make way for a defunct celebrity who had his 15 minutes of fame. The man next to me nudged me and said 'you've met a famous person tonight'. 'O you mean that c*** who just stole my seat?' Little did this man know, for he was demented and too plastered to speak, that Klaus and I were actual colleagues, for I had contrived to be made a freelance reviewer at the Berliner Ensemble where KMB was principal actor. KMB was looking aggressive, kept looking over at me, wanted a fight, (but then what about those yrs of schooling at the Roger Moore Academy of karate and kick boxing. Take him out there, beat the shit out of the Austrian manachean muffler, get in the car, run over his limp, bleeding body, then load it into the boot, depositing his broken corpse into the Landwehr Kanal. Drive back to the cafe, throw a party for the cast at my apartment, shag his girlfriend 'til dawn, then go to the BE and trash his changing room. I mean, the f***er was asking for it, wasn't he?
Hi, today played for Mill Hill Village 3rd XI and the oppo made 291 for 1 off 40 overs. We only had 9 men and 5 fourth XI players. Then we made 92 all out in reply. So a bit of a massacre but I was happy playing as a wicket keeper and doing well, only letting through 5 byes, not dropping any catches and sticking around for 7 or so overs with the bat although making a duck (0). They had one particular fast bowler, he was a bit terrifying, just like the demon bowler Spofforth of lore. Perhaps he was the ghost of Spofforth or the ghost of Flashman, come back from the grave to give me a damn good beasting, but I spat in his eye (metaphorically). best wishes, Paul Murphy
Battersea Ironsides Sunday A vs Cheam
Hi, that sounds great! Yesterday's game was even better. They made 211 off 40 overs and then we were reduced to 50-7 when there was a recovery to 124-8. Then I came to the wicket with a broken hand and managed to put 50 on with the incumbent batsman who made 55 but was out with just 4 overs to come. Then the No.11 came in and we put on 27 quickfire runs, ending on 201-9. I carried the bat for 16 not out. Putting on 77 runs and only making 16 sounds paltry but there were a lot of extras. bw
good job!
i've been a spectator lately: we went to see the san francisco giants play the pittsburgh pirates, and our cy young award winning pitcher for the hometown giants
pitched 15 strikeouts in the night game!! a career high for possibly the best major league pitcher today: tim lincecum. reading 'satchel,' a book about possibly the greatest pitcher ever. many of his records are lost as the negro leagues did not
tally much, but he still played the majors, given at an older age due to racism. he was a rookie of the year at age 42 in the major leagues and pitched up to the age of 59!!
http://www.amazon.com/Satchel-Life-Times-American-Legend/dp/1400066514
play ball,
jonathan
so just coming to terms with the game as the season draws to a close. only played a handful of games before, in the off season after the hockey was finished. always loved cricket though, much more than hockey. the game has many legends, hockey just St Trinians. will probably try to play on through the winter. maybe I'll go to South Africa but probably Gerlitzen in southern Austria. I want to get a log cabin there and learn to fight bears. seriously though the views are stupendous, the isolation terrific, the Austrians...the Austrians are a bunch of swarthy, short, stocky Hitler buddies. I hope to eat my shoes in Chaplinesque fashion. After that I'll eat my belt, then I'll work on a slim volume, eat it. then I'll eat my cricket bat.
My friend Armin Steigenberger in Munich said, incidentally, that he thinks Andy Strauss' father was a black engineer from the Projects district in Detroit. No one had ever heard of Randy Frauss there and, if they had, would never have bought his lps. bw, PM
an interesting, detailed account. I hadn't heard of Jake, but played against Patrick in the nets. Patrick can extract decent bounce but basically needs to work v hard on his bowling in order to challenge decent, technically competent batters. With a lot of hard work he could be a very good first change bowler and number 8 batsman.
yes of course send me more of these, basically its all fascinating to me.
your right, I can't swing through straight because of my weight. the bat starts pointing at cover and ends up at leg.
On Saturday I played squash against an SA county player (played for Natal), a woman. It was nice to play against a woman, they are so much more thoughtful. She immediately realised I had tendenitis in my knee and made all sorts of pragmatic suggestions. Jon Slinn thought this was a sign of lack of fitness, that I had to go to a gym! He's a bit crass, rather undeveloped social skills that mostly rotate around being cold and arrogant.
I have to get back to my editing and other duties. Presently I have some books to review, new South African poetry, a new book by my editor Andrew Nightingale (editor of Liminal Pleasures, hailed a few yrs ago as the Great White Hope of English poetry, but died a death on landing. Still its the best thing to have happened for years in English poetry, a real engine room for the British avante garde, or what remains of it (apparantly they have me down as a member of the British avante garde along with honorary Cornishman once of the British Library reading room Lawrence Upton - makes me puke a bit - Giles Goodland, Rupert Loydell and OTHERS. I met Giles Goodland at his home in Ealing, works on the OED a lot, inbetween times writes to be a member of the British avante garde like me. I wish I could hit an off drive as well as I work out an ode! Maybe I should write 'ode to my off drive' or 'ode to my arsy parsy pointing in the direction of cover then leg!'. Bring down the house or the harse or whichever. BTW is that curmudgeon Mick still at the club? I asked him what he thought of Ludwig Wittgenstein 'Logico Tractatus Philosophicus', quoth he 'e's a nutter.' Dripping or dropping his aitches an all, remember Mick man that cro magnon defeated neanderthal! Then he rollicked on about how he never reads anything else but The Sun and The Mirror sometimes the Daily Mail - the Daily Mail for fucks sake!! - real arse wipe material. I mean, who prides themselves on reading that muck, just expensive toilet roll? But he's an incidental diversion from the other happenings, reminds me very much of one of the characters in Bernard Shaw's 'Man and Superman' although I can't remember which.)
Hi, sorry about gestern. After the game on Sunday I stiffened up overnight, but I think the real problem is being overweight and putting too much pressure on the knee and ankle joints. Sunday was an amazing day, playing Fawe Park CC, a club at least 3 notches above us. They batted first and made 202 off 40 overs. Then we batted and made just 85. Five of the guys made ducks and I made just 4, a late cut boundary, typical openers shot, but stuck around for 5 or so overs with my partner, a Pakistani batsman called Walleed who made just 8. Eventually one popped up on me and bounced up off the splice then a good catch by one of their fielders. Then the captain Neil O'Brien made8, superbly caught as I was, but this time by the slip. An Australian batsman came in and made 43, he looked an aggressive hitter. The other opener made a duck (0) and 4 of the other guys, not showing enough determination to stick around even for a while. Training makes a lot of difference.
There were no sightscreens and the pitch caused the ball to alternately pop or creep. Hard to know what it all meant except that it was very sunny and there were lots of half-naked girls in the long grass.
Yes the pitches are drying out and getting bouncier so time for the helmet and the arm guard. Found running in the helmet tough, but not as tough as I thought and it is definitely restrictive. But I don't look upon batting as gladiatorial combat so I think its best to have it when playing for Sunday A or the Firsts and Seconds and maybe the Thirds. Made a small stand of 20 or so with Walleed which is the usual and stuck around for 5 overs or so but want to learn how to go on from this and the only way is probably through practice.
So I hope this feedback is useful. I always like to write reflection on the games, not necessary for you to comment, bw, Paul
Twenty20 Match Battersea Ironsides versus The Bricklayers Arms, Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
Hi, another great match, this time a Twenty20 game against The Bricklayers Arms. This time I was put on as first change bowler, basic cannon fodder but reversed the scenario by bowling the opening batsman with an off break through the gate, a ripper and could have had 4 or 5 more wickets, if catches had been held and a plumb lbw upheld. So in the final analysis: 4 overs, 0 maidens, 1 wicket for 39 runs. They made 103 and we got them with 5 overs to spare. yeah bring 'em on! bw, Paul
Ps I'm just gobsmacked my pitiful off beam bowling wasn't tonked for 90 or so, but there you go!
Battersea Ironsides 3rd XI vs Old Hamptonians, Hampton, May 31st 2009
TOAD IS CAPTURED AND GANGBANGED BY THE WEASELS
Dear Steve, a blistering day yesterday and this time I had a game with the 3rd XI, a friendly against Old Hamptonians at Hampton. We drove to a beautiful pitch, like a great green meadow, a church spire in the background, oak trees and brilliant sunshine.
So our opening bowlers began but nothing much happened until the first change in the bowling and a big South African called Paul Todd took 6 wickets in no time, but they clung on to get 179, a good total on this wicket. Then our response began steadily until one of the openers, an Australian, chipped the ball into his own face and retired hurt for 31 (bet he'll wear a helmet next time.). Then there was a clatter of wickets, a couple of guys got ducks, but the South African again got in and hit a fifty in even time. They'd put me down at number 8 to bat, but I went in when the fifth wicket fell because of the injury and the score was on 140 for 5 with about 15 overs in hand. (I knew that I'd get plenty of batting, even though I went in at 8, because I reckoned that 3 or 4 of the batsman were playing too far up the order and I also knew I could bat well and better than they. In fact they could have saved themselves some hassle by promoting me to open or to number 3 which seems to be my natural position in the batting order.) Anyway I chipped and nudged the ball around for singles, Paul Todd hit some fours, but when we got to 162 I was run out for 4 going for an implausible run off a mis-field as a result of Todd's call which left me well stranded. They say never run on a mis-field and it's true. So then the captain went in and hit his second ball for 4 and the innings was over and we had won. A run chase like this seemed implausible but we got them with 5 overs to spare.
Well the whole thing was played competitively, aggressively and probably too much so for a friendly, but there you go. Winning the game is definitely better than losing and puts individual failures into perspective.
Battersea Ironsides Sunday B team against Sopwith Camels, Sunday May 17th, 2009
TOAD STEALS AN AEROPLANE
Hi Eric, yes another fascinating game of cricket. Basically the story went this way: they had us at 24-4 so I went in and did my Geoffrey Boycott impression. When I left the wicket it was 54-4, so we had a chance. Eventually we amassed 140 but they chipped them off for the loss of 2. best wishes, PM
Ps there was a Scotsman batting number 11. I hope this doesn't happen again. We can't encourage them.
Battersea Ironsides Sunday B team against Wind in the Willows, Sunday May 10th, 2009
TOAD'S INVITIATION
just played Wind in the Willows CC. Opened the innings, got off to a great start with the ball snorting off a length sometimes and sometimes shooting, when the captain ran me out. I made 6. We made 102 and then they got the runs in 20 overs, just time enough for a 15 over a side contest with batting and bowling orders inverted. So I opened the bowling. Bowling a load of rubbish and then produced a snorter of a ball that went through everything and had the batsman plumb lbw. Cricket is a funny game. Then I scored 1 not out second time around. But we lost again even though I knocked Ron Badger's block off with a bouncer. Believe me, that's the last time I'll let those fictional characters try to invent a cricket match in my dream.
Hola Guapo! Last night up in Mill Hill Village for net practice, not as well organised as in BICC. Some guys turned up not dressed for cricket but turned out to be decent sorts enlisting their 12 yr old son for action at the club. Some young 'cricketers' turned up for a hit, one went into the nets without a box (???), within a minute there was a sudden piercing scream, for he had taken a direct hit on the nuts. But a young Australian leg spinner arrived who seemed talented and organised, then Liam Maloney arrived, club secretary who seemed to have a genius for being humble, constructive and giving advice both simple and profound. Anyway they gave me a game on their 4th XI on Saturday as a reward for seeming to know what a box was and being able to protect my nuts (which may still, indeed, come in handy. you never know what might happen: a beautiful woman might fall in love with me and agree to have my baby? or maybe just that I simply don't want to live in constant pain in my nuts region!) best wishes, Paul
Hi, today out at Perivale for a match with Mill Hill CC 4th XI. I soon found out that I was brought as a spare and was to bat at number 8. Not giving a newcomer a chance to either bat or bowl and yet expecting that person to pay a full match fee? However, the team quickly showed that they couldn't bat and I was soon in the action coming to the wicket at 60 for 6. At the other end the Aussie leg spinner Chris O'Shaughnessey had 34 but soon holed out to an awesome ball from their Pakistani leg spinner, a tall chap who spun and bounced the ball prodigiously. He took 8 wickets, the other 2 were run outs. So I quickly got on top of the medium pacer hitting him for two 4s and then took the quick single. Facing the leg spinner I made a classical forward defensive but the ball spun and bounced massively taking an edge. Getting an edge on that ball totally demonstrates that I am a batsman of genius. I was caught for 10. In all we made 95 in 25 overs. They knocked these off for the loss of one wicket (run out). I fielded at gully saving 20 or so runs in the process and bowled the last over. The keeper missed a straightforward stumping and then the batsman hit the next ball from me straight at mid-wicket who helped the ball over the boundary for 4.
When Chris came to bowl his bowling was simply dismantled completely and he gave them back the 34 he made in only 2 overs.
The conclusion? Not giving me a chance was a mistake they'll live to regret.
best wishes,
Paul
Hi Des, another victory in the T20.
Fleet Street Strollers vs Battersea Ironsides, 24th June, 2009
I was wheeled onto the square for some 'old timer' googly bowling. My bowling analysis: 4 overs 0 maidens 5 wickets 36 runs. Biff! Pow! 2 men bowled, one stumping, one caught and one hit wicket. Gareth also got runs and everyone contributed down the line. They made 96 but didn't bat out their 20 overs. Then we got them for the loss of 2 wickets in 17 overs. best wishes, Paul
Mill Hill Village 4th XI versus GWR XI, Perivale
Hi Liam, today a great victory, making 193 this time with Nadeem a centurion, but the rest of the batters making the wicket look hard work. Then we got them for 103, 4 bowlers chipping in with 2 or 3 each including moi: my off spin bowling harvesting 3 overs 2 for 14 and a good catch too off Ravi, who got 3 wickets but also made 2 with the bat (me too). So all in all everyone contributing to a substantial victory.
best wishes,
Paul
CIYMS vs Portadown in Mid Ulster Bandit Country, circa 1995
I remember once playing a game of cricket in mid-Ulster. We arrived in cars and someone remarked: 'I don't think people here are very loyal.' There was a mural depicting Karl Marx, Nelson Mandela, Gerry Adams, another of Bobby Sands, yet another depicting an IRA guerilla in full combat gear, brandishing a kalashnikov assault rifle with the caption: Tiocfaidh ár lá (our day will come). Sometime around 1972 someone detonated a bomb in the village pub, killing everyone who could pay to be there. Afterwards relationships between catholics and protestants in the village were strained, to say the least. God, I thought to myself, am I not some kind of fascist turning up here with a cricket bat and white clothing to impinge upon these people who probably want to be left alone, who probably don't need to be reminded of the Plantation of Ulster, the triumph of King Billy in 1690, defeating James at the Battle of the Boyne, the Act of Union and every other aggressive Imperialist British action historically retrograde or whatever. I thought, how can we even get out of here (if things turned nasty, as they invariably did in Ulster.). Okay I can quote Lenin, Che and Marx, pretend to be an Australian touring side: I'm the captain Paul Murphy, these are the Melbourne Desperadoes or something and I'm their captain Paul O'Murphy (because that sounds even more Irish).
So I went into the wee shop to ask directions, addressing the shopkeeper:
"The philosophers have only interpreted the world, the point is to change it. That's Marx, Karl Marx. You know what Lenin said: the Kulak has one hand in his own pocket and one in the pocket of his serf. Can I have a packet of Protestants? Shit, sorry I meant a packet of milk and six bags of crisps and a large bottle of coke."
The only other time I'd been in a situation like this was in County Antrim at the John Hewitt Summer School. I met this seeming nutter in bar and got into a heated debate with him about the poetry of Louis MacNeice. This chap looked as if he'd got over the wall of the local booby hatch the night before and was in vital need of a dose of largactyl.
"By the way, can I just ask your name?"
"Who, me? I'm Tom Paulin. Perhaps you know me as Kirsty Wark's concubine?"
Hi, just back from Harrow where we, Mill Hill Village 4th XI played Harrow and were beaten, but narrowly. We made 120 all out from 40 overs and they made 121 for 7 in 30. Basically the team consists of 3 fathers and 4 or 5 sons and some other pathetic also rans such as moi there simply to make up the numbers, bat in the lower order, do no bowling and then tender a cheque at the end of the game. You also get to be insulted, 'your batting is ugly, that's why you bat at No.9' - 'no my batting is beautiful, your an ugly kinda liar'. Of course the whole thing is an insult to the intelligence of a house fly but there you go. The contact came via Gumtree which is basically a mugger's paradise and ought to be shut down.
best wishes,
Your correspondent in Sils Maria, Switzerland
Fifth Test, Ashes 2009 The England selectors have chosen Trott (too hot to..) but the money is safe IF the Aussies win....
Out of Africa (2005, Directed by Sydney Pollack. With Meryl Streep, Robert Redford, Klaus Maria Brandauer. In 20th century colonial Kenya, a Danish baroness/plantation owner has ...
Subject: Cafe, Frederichstraße
Hi, sitting at a cafe tonight, mulling over some chilli and a coke. A man came up to me, addressed me in German, then some women came over, talking at me while I couldn´t understand. Seemed they wanted me to move to a smaller table so that their group could be together. Anyway, I thought this man was familiar, it turned out to be Klaus Maria Brandauer, the Austrian actor, who is putting on a production of Die DreiGroßenOper at the Berliner Ensemble somewhere nr Frederichstraße, the main theatre boulevard in Berlin. Here am I, an itinerant observer, a real symbol/victim of our celebrity culture, being moved aside or trampled on to make way for a defunct celebrity who had his 15 minutes of fame. The man next to me nudged me and said 'you've met a famous person tonight'. 'O you mean that c*** who just stole my seat?' Little did this man know, for he was demented and too plastered to speak, that Klaus and I were actual colleagues, for I had contrived to be made a freelance reviewer at the Berliner Ensemble where KMB was principal actor. KMB was looking aggressive, kept looking over at me, wanted a fight, (but then what about those yrs of schooling at the Roger Moore Academy of karate and kick boxing. Take him out there, beat the shit out of the Austrian manachean muffler, get in the car, run over his limp, bleeding body, then load it into the boot, depositing his broken corpse into the Landwehr Kanal. Drive back to the cafe, throw a party for the cast at my apartment, shag his girlfriend 'til dawn, then go to the BE and trash his changing room. I mean, the f***er was asking for it, wasn't he?
Hi, today played for Mill Hill Village 3rd XI and the oppo made 291 for 1 off 40 overs. We only had 9 men and 5 fourth XI players. Then we made 92 all out in reply. So a bit of a massacre but I was happy playing as a wicket keeper and doing well, only letting through 5 byes, not dropping any catches and sticking around for 7 or so overs with the bat although making a duck (0). They had one particular fast bowler, he was a bit terrifying, just like the demon bowler Spofforth of lore. Perhaps he was the ghost of Spofforth or the ghost of Flashman, come back from the grave to give me a damn good beasting, but I spat in his eye (metaphorically). best wishes, Paul Murphy
Battersea Ironsides Sunday A vs Cheam
Hi, that sounds great! Yesterday's game was even better. They made 211 off 40 overs and then we were reduced to 50-7 when there was a recovery to 124-8. Then I came to the wicket with a broken hand and managed to put 50 on with the incumbent batsman who made 55 but was out with just 4 overs to come. Then the No.11 came in and we put on 27 quickfire runs, ending on 201-9. I carried the bat for 16 not out. Putting on 77 runs and only making 16 sounds paltry but there were a lot of extras. bw
good job!
i've been a spectator lately: we went to see the san francisco giants play the pittsburgh pirates, and our cy young award winning pitcher for the hometown giants
pitched 15 strikeouts in the night game!! a career high for possibly the best major league pitcher today: tim lincecum. reading 'satchel,' a book about possibly the greatest pitcher ever. many of his records are lost as the negro leagues did not
tally much, but he still played the majors, given at an older age due to racism. he was a rookie of the year at age 42 in the major leagues and pitched up to the age of 59!!
http://www.amazon.com/Satchel-Life-Times-American-Legend/dp/1400066514
play ball,
jonathan
so just coming to terms with the game as the season draws to a close. only played a handful of games before, in the off season after the hockey was finished. always loved cricket though, much more than hockey. the game has many legends, hockey just St Trinians. will probably try to play on through the winter. maybe I'll go to South Africa but probably Gerlitzen in southern Austria. I want to get a log cabin there and learn to fight bears. seriously though the views are stupendous, the isolation terrific, the Austrians...the Austrians are a bunch of swarthy, short, stocky Hitler buddies. I hope to eat my shoes in Chaplinesque fashion. After that I'll eat my belt, then I'll work on a slim volume, eat it. then I'll eat my cricket bat.
My friend Armin Steigenberger in Munich said, incidentally, that he thinks Andy Strauss' father was a black engineer from the Projects district in Detroit. No one had ever heard of Randy Frauss there and, if they had, would never have bought his lps. bw, PM
an interesting, detailed account. I hadn't heard of Jake, but played against Patrick in the nets. Patrick can extract decent bounce but basically needs to work v hard on his bowling in order to challenge decent, technically competent batters. With a lot of hard work he could be a very good first change bowler and number 8 batsman.
yes of course send me more of these, basically its all fascinating to me.
your right, I can't swing through straight because of my weight. the bat starts pointing at cover and ends up at leg.
On Saturday I played squash against an SA county player (played for Natal), a woman. It was nice to play against a woman, they are so much more thoughtful. She immediately realised I had tendenitis in my knee and made all sorts of pragmatic suggestions. Jon Slinn thought this was a sign of lack of fitness, that I had to go to a gym! He's a bit crass, rather undeveloped social skills that mostly rotate around being cold and arrogant.
I have to get back to my editing and other duties. Presently I have some books to review, new South African poetry, a new book by my editor Andrew Nightingale (editor of Liminal Pleasures, hailed a few yrs ago as the Great White Hope of English poetry, but died a death on landing. Still its the best thing to have happened for years in English poetry, a real engine room for the British avante garde, or what remains of it (apparantly they have me down as a member of the British avante garde along with honorary Cornishman once of the British Library reading room Lawrence Upton - makes me puke a bit - Giles Goodland, Rupert Loydell and OTHERS. I met Giles Goodland at his home in Ealing, works on the OED a lot, inbetween times writes to be a member of the British avante garde like me. I wish I could hit an off drive as well as I work out an ode! Maybe I should write 'ode to my off drive' or 'ode to my arsy parsy pointing in the direction of cover then leg!'. Bring down the house or the harse or whichever. BTW is that curmudgeon Mick still at the club? I asked him what he thought of Ludwig Wittgenstein 'Logico Tractatus Philosophicus', quoth he 'e's a nutter.' Dripping or dropping his aitches an all, remember Mick man that cro magnon defeated neanderthal! Then he rollicked on about how he never reads anything else but The Sun and The Mirror sometimes the Daily Mail - the Daily Mail for fucks sake!! - real arse wipe material. I mean, who prides themselves on reading that muck, just expensive toilet roll? But he's an incidental diversion from the other happenings, reminds me very much of one of the characters in Bernard Shaw's 'Man and Superman' although I can't remember which.)
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